A Half Of My Heart
by Lost-Stranger
Summary: Summary: Simon is hurt in a mission gone wrong and feelings are discovered. Don't want to spoil anything Warning: Slash Mal/Simon ,angst,blood,set after the series, M for later chapters.
1. Chapter 1: Heart

**Firefly: A Half Of My Heart**

**Summary: Simon is hurt in a mission gone wrong and feelings are discovered.(Don't want to spoil anything)**  
**Warning: Slash(Mal/Simon),angst,blood,set after the series.**  
**Disclaimer:Not mine ,owned by the awesome Joss Whedon.**

**A/N: Probably won't be many chapters, as a warning chapters will be sporactic because i have 6 gcse exams this month.**

He knew he had done it.  
He knew he had protected Mal, I mean that's what doctors do they save life after life after life most of the time with little cost. He also knew that he would do anything for his Mei Mei.  
And almost anything to repay the man who went out of his way to make them 'part of the crew'. Yes, they had a few fallouts and some punches were thrown but they both had grown on each other and Simon knew he had deserved (some of) the punches and he was in debt to the Captain, a debt that had to be paid. Yet he didn't know it would go this far. The young raven haired doctor had patched up the Captain nearly a few hundred times whether it was bullet wound or burn (a few swords wounds once) and it was never really that problematic. Shiny was the exact vocabulary Kaylee had used to describe how well he fixed people. He loved Kaylee, she was a beautiful girl, smart but he wasn't in _'love with her'_.  
She was great with his sister, like Inara, and he enjoyed talking to her but there was no spark because she could never be anything more than a lovely little sister to him. Unfortunately. Words are mostly empty in an apology and gratitude, so why use words when actions speak louder than them?

He'd only ever been shot once by that crazy maniac Early but that was his leg so it wasn't too painful and it was easy to instruct someone of how to get it out. And Zoe did a great job, not the best but good for someone with next to zero expertise in doctoring. Before now he would have said it was maybe the most painfullest thing in his life next to nearly losing his sister. Yet with this ...In the beginning it didn't hurt to much it just...stung. Probably the shock. He didn't fall down until 3 minutes after it happened. He stood there for three minutes not knowing completely that he had been shot!  
As he lay on the operating table, strong hands pressing on the wound so he didn't lose too much blood, he wondered how he got here? And was it worth it? He knew he was hurt badly because his hearing was muffled all he could hear was slurred speech and only just could he hear River's screams which he generally knew were really loud. There was a ringing in his ears that made his head feel like it was going to explode. Soon he would pass out, his vision blurred the lack of sharpness, the inability to see fine detail scared him and the matter was made worse as his head was spinning, the silhouettes above him were spinning. The young man wondered that if he passes out would he ever wake up again? He is the only doctor on the ship; Mal had made that apparent once before and that no one else could do his job. He chuckled at that, blood spluttering out his mouth and falling onto his chin and chest as he did so. His father wanted him to become a respected doctor and he did even though saving his sister cost him a high position in a hospital he was still in a high position on the ship, Serenity. As I result he got many voices at once telling him to 'just breathe'. The notion of never breathing again scared the young man to the point he began to struggle whimpering as he did so. And then ...he was gone. Out of consciousness. Dark. Wondering what's the last thing you notice before you die? Is it a concept, a thought, a fact, a revelation? Is it some fantastic, ground-breaking epitome? Or is it simpler than that? Is it something you see, hear, taste, touch, smell?

Mal sat with his head in his hands as his knees reached his chest whilst he sat on the cold metal stairs.  
"Why me?" He questioned tears threatening to escape his blue eyes. He'd had many disagreements with the challenging doctor but he was a trophy to have on the team, always there when needed(well except when he was kidnapped but that didn't end badly) Jayne came over to the Captain and placed a hand on his shoulder gently squeezing for some sort of comfort, an emotion he wasn't very good at. Jayne still felt guilt from what happened on Ariel, the doctor hailed him a hero when he was the reason he needed to be rescued but he felt...some sort of relief when the doctor stayed and 'forgave' him he was actually scared to lose him, he had grown quite attached to the smaller man . Kaylee was on the sofa crying her eyes out her small hands grasping at the pillows fabric as she gasped for air. The heartache she received when Simon didn't return her feelings was nothing compared to thought of losing him forever. Inara was trying to comfort her, she had never connected with the doctor except when Early invaded and she saw the determination in his eyes. River had wandered off, rambling some riddle no one understood, with the Shepherd closely following after her with his bible in hand reading a passage to do with death and closure. Wash was in the control room trying to get to the nearest rock with a usable doctor (fast) and Zoe was in the infirmary tending as well as she can to the young man. She was not fond of having to operate on the doctor a second time especially this time when he wasn't conscious.

The mission was a simple trade. Get in get out. Simple money. But when the mission went awry (as it always does) everyone retreated to Serenity, Wash already having her heated up and ready to go but the enemy followed hot on their trail and even though the doors to the bay were closing one lucky shooter was able to get a bullet through. Simon was intelligent not as intelligent as River but still a genius and when they look back the may say that is the reason he saw it coming or they may say that this wasn't a moment of intelligence but one of stupidity. The upside to Simon act of heroism is that the Captain wasn't hurt and to Simon he was 'irreplaceable' and 'more important' to the crew. The downside...he was wrong. The crew didn't want to lose either of them, both of them were irreplaceable, both had qualities, personalities and talents you could find in no other.

Everywhere was silent the only noise was the large metal bay doors closing which echoed throughout the big hollow ship. Simon stood loosely in front of the Captain his hand on his stomach, covering up the bullet hole and the blood that was seeping out. Every one breathed a sigh of relief believing that everyone was safe, that no one was hurt. No eyes saw the bullet penetrate the young doctor through his back. The bullet that was meant for Mal. They were all about to get back to their duties when River began to spout nonsense.  
"You gave up everything you had. Don't be afraid. Mal. Bad in Latin" She said in her usual high pitch voice towards her brother whose eyebrows were furrowed in confusion and pain her eyes looked everywhere put at her brother before she skipped off in her huge combat boots. "Fluids" she shouted before she sat down on a crate. It confused Simon the way she reacted, did she not fear for his life? Would she not miss him? She would but at the very moment it began she wasn't lucid.  
"Why'd she say my name? Why am I bad-What is she on about?" Mal asked quickly with one eyebrow raised. Nearly everyone shrugged. Jayne was ignoring everyone now and went to his weights. Inara was at the top of the metal stairs trying to figure out what was going on with the young girl. Whilst everyone else was in the cargo bay question the nonsense River has spewed from her lips.  
"What's the matter River?" Kaylee laughed as she picked up her tools that River had messed up before the trade. River babbled in gibberish for a moment before Simon spoke calming words in her ear.

The next thing happened very quickly. Simon stared into Mal's eyes and smiled his million dollar smile that hardly anyone got to see lately. Mostly because of his insomnia which was caused my River but he wouldn't admit it. And then...the young doctor with his arms grasping his stomach tightly collapsed to his knee's causing a very loud bang as his knee cracked on the metallic grate. Eyes widened as blood soaked over Simon's pale white hand. Blood over flowed out his once light pink lips which were now stained ruby red. He choked droplets flew everywhere the majority in his hand as he covered his mouth. Mal was the first to rush over to him catching him before he fell and smacked his head off the floor, permanently marking his pretty porcelain doll like face. Mal cradled him in his arms before he swiftly picked him up bridal style and carried him to the infirmary. Chanting that he will 'be alright'.

* * *

**Please rate and review .**  
**Thank you for reading. I hope it was alright.**


	2. Chapter 2: Feelings

**Firefly: A Half Of My Heart**

**Summary: Simon is hurt in a mission gone wrong and feelings are discovered.(Don't want to spoil anything)  
Warning: Slash(Mal/Simon),angst,blood,set after the series.  
Disclaimer:Not mine ,owned by the awesome Joss Whedon  
****A/N: Simons a bit OOC at the start (I think) 'cause I mean he was shot an' nearly died not many people would be the same straight away after I don't know where a bathroom would be on the ship so I'm placing one near the infirmary as it seems like the optimum place to put it.**

The trip to Triumph felt like an eternity. They could not go to a core planet for a fear of the fugitives being discovered. But they were able to find a..."working"... hospital on one of the outer planets.  
His eyes fluttered open and the cluster of bright lights that greeted him caused him to wince then blink many times. His eyes searched his familiar surroundings. Home. Serenity. The young doctor remembered waking somewhere else before this however he was unsure of where but now he was in the infirmary. In pain but safe. He lowered his gaze and his eyes were drawn to two things. The first being the bandage wrapped around his toned stomach, the second being a man with brown hair drooped in a chair next to the infirmary's table. Simon slowly moved towards the body watching its clothed chest rise and fall in a hypnotic rhythm. His skinny pale fingers lingered close to the man's face when he figured out who the man was. Mal. Simon's fingered ghosted over Mal's jaw line trying not to wake the captain. Simon's face was inches away from the captains as he knelt on the tiles in between Mal's open legs. The Captains eyes sprung open when the doctor's fingers tickled him causing Simon's normally porcelain white face to go a fiery ferocious red as he tripped over himself to move out of the captain's personal space. The smaller man landed on his back with his knees bent looking up at his superior in shock, pain and embarrassment.  
"Doc, you've got to be careful you might pull out your stitches an' we wouldn't want to mess up your perfect skin an'more than we have." Mal exclaimed as he gently pulled Simon onto his feet. Simon couldn't look in Mal's eyes. Did Mal even know that Simon was thinking of kissing him before? He shouldn't be having these thoughts Mal would not recuperate his feeling, they are inappropriate. A man should not love another man; his father told him that many times when he found him kissing an older man at 17. Still Simon tried to ignore the sin and he could until he met Mal. Maybe it wasn't that Mal was irresistible, maybe it was because he'd rescued his sister so he didn't have that to think about how ever now he does need to find out what's wrong with her. As much as he hated to admit it Simon was still a virgin. He'd never had the time to lose it with becoming a doctor and saving River. He'd never dated and the only kiss he had was when he was 17. And the rest of the world was oblivious to his insecurities other than his genius sister. Mal smiled his famous smile and checked Simon's stitches. Simon flinched at this action which caused Mal to furrow his eyes brows. The young doctor cleared his throat then slowly moved away and got up, excusing himself to his room leaving Mal sat in the infirmary by himself.

Later in the day after Simon awoke from his rest he began to wander around the ship only to overhear a conversation he shouldn't have.  
"I don't know what to do, he flinches when I'm near and doesn't want to be around me ...I haven't even got to say thank you yet. You don't get shot for someone and not accept gratitude." Mal sighed as he talked to Zoe who was sat opposite him at the dining table. Mal was able to talk to Zoe about near anything. Simon slowly backed away from the kitchen disappointed at himself for causing the Captain grief. Unfortunately he backed up into a person. Probably the worse person to see you eaves dropping ever. Jayne.  
"We got ourselves a fly on the wall" Jayne spat as he gripped the back of the doctor's silk shirt and pick him up, placing him in Mal and Zoe's eye line. The younger man stuttered an apology and tried to leave but Jayne's huge body blocked the exit and he didn't want to walk past Mal to the other exit. Simon just hung his head in defeat staring at his shoes. Mal stood up.  
"I'll sort it out" He announced gruffly. Jayne smirked his usually cocky grin.  
"Mal!" Zoe shouted, shocked." You do not harm the man who saves your life"  
"Stay out of it" Mal replied as he dragged Simon out of the kitchen and around the corner. Zoe was hurt he hardly ever talked to her that way. Simon winced as he has to stretch to make sure he didn't pull his stitches as he was dragged. Simon was pushed up against the wall and he waited for the fist to hit his face as he closed his eyes. The amount of times Mal had punched him on the first day alone was ridiculous! The sharp pain never came. The crunching of bones ...never came. Simon slowly opened his eyes and was met by a confused gaze.  
"Did you think I was actually going to hit you?" Mal scoffed, more of a laugh. "Thank you for saving my life" Mal proudly said as he offered his hand for a hand shake. The doctor shook his firm hand. Then suddenly Mal pulled Simon in to a hug obviously not content with a handshake as a thank you. "Don't ever do that again" He whispered quite threateningly. "The takin' a bullet for me, you can save my life as much as you want" Mal laughed somewhat nervously to try and correct himself. The hug was awkward but the doctor relished in it as he was sure he wouldn't get another one anytime soon.  
The rest of the day flew by Simon too fast it made him feel ill. He felt like he was standing still while everyone, everything else around him was on fast forward. Like standing at the edge of a road. Everyone had been cooing over Simon, praising the Gods he was alive yet he wasn't a fan of the attention .When everyone else was in bed ,only a few lights shining in the corridors, he collapsed in the Infirmary bathroom, falling down against the cold tiles after he just threw up into the toilet. He face was stained with tears. He was regretting his choice. Not that he saved the Captain or his beautiful little sister, he would never regret that even if it killed him, but in his last moments before he nearly died, when he was near the brink, he notice that he hadn't really achieved much for _himself_ in _his_ life. Before he climbed into the shower he attached a cling film type material to his stomach so his stitches wouldn't get ruined. After undressing, his clothes falling into a pile on the bathroom floor which was unusual for him as he nearly always folded them, Simon stepped into the shower. The spray of heated water fell against his skin. The liquid played across the muscles in his shoulders, relaxing him quickly. Stress from recent events melted away with the water. He turned the knob higher, increasing temperature. The water was hot enough to burn skin but it felt too good to him. He rested his head against the tiled wall - a cool contrast to the steam building up around him. The young man fell into his thoughts, staying slumped against the shower wall. Even though he was a surgical genius, his sister was damaged and there was nothing he could do for her. And now, once again he was proving just as worthless when it came to his captain.  
"Simon" A male voice shouted from inside the infirmary that woke Simon from his thoughts. He scrambled up from his crouched position and slipped trying to get a towel. He gripped the towel trying to catch himself on it as he had hung over the glass screen. A loud crash rang through the ship, one that crunched Mal's stomach tightly. Mal rushed into the bathroom not thinking that Simon may be indecent. The sight he was greeted with was one you would laugh at if you weren't worried for their safety and the crash wasn't so loud. Simon was on his back (yet again) with a towel, barely covering his nether regions, which he had pulled on him when he fell. The ball of his hands were pressed into his eyes as he was in pain and his legs were spread in a weird position that only dead bodies seem to be able to do when crime scene investigators draw around their body.  
" Are you okay?...Are you unable to stand up right?" Mal sniggered as he stared down at the younger man. Simon was once again a pinkish colour as he quickly struggled to cover himself up.  
"Doc, why are you takin' a shower so late anyway? Shouldn't you be restin'" The captain asked as he offered a calloused hand. The doctor did not accept his hand; he sat up and adjusted the towel so it would not fall off when he stood up. His legs wobbled and he nearly fell again but Mal caught him one hand on his well muscled left shoulder and his other hand resting on Simon's predominant right hip bone. The smaller man mumbled gratitude and reached for his clothes, still not looking Mal in the eyes. Mal's touch stirred his emotions a little.  
"Was there a reason you are up this late, Captain, Something you wanted?" Simon asked in his normal monotonous tone, his mask back on, no emotions showing.  
"Why won't you look me in the eye? You do the most idiotic thing...takin' a bullet for me...but you won't look me in the eye afterward. I didn't push you in front of that gun" That stung. The words Mal nearly screamed in Simon's face dug deep and tore hard. A tear nearly escaped the doctors eye as he stared at his stitches...the man he loved was beginning to hate him again. Just like in the beginning. Simon slowly slipped on his underwear and tracksuit bottoms over the towel so he was no longer stood so bare and open for the Captain to see. Mal scoffed and huffed then walked away leaving Simon alone in the infirmary. Footsteps echoed throughout the corridors. He lifted his hand to his heart his fingers brushing over the goose bumps that had recently formed as the cold air from the ship ghosted over his bare chest.  
"You stole my heart, Malcolm Reynolds" Simon sighed desperately as he closed his eyes listening to his heart beat like a drum. Little did he know the Mal hadn't actually left.

**Please rate and review i hope you enjoyed it. Probably only one more chapter.**

**Stranger x**


	3. Chapter 3: Pain

**Firefly: A Half Of My Heart**

**Summary: Simon is hurt in a mission gone wrong and feelings are discovered.(Don't want to spoil anything)  
Warning: Slash(Mal/Simon),angst,blood,set after the series but before the movie(I think)  
Disclaimer: Not mine, owned by the awesome Joss Whedon  
****A/N: Its only just clicked that Sean Maher is actually gay...I knew he had adopted children and a partner but its only just clicked. Hell I'm slow! How I'm gonna past my GCSE's I don't know. I have nyet chance. Probably the last chapter. May do I sequel at some point if requested.  
**

Nice. It was nice and homely them all sitting round the table again for dinner. Chatter as normal, the only person not talking was Simon who was just sat next to River scraping his food that Sheppard Book and Inara had help make around the white porcelain plate with a blue rim. _'They must have stolen these because they must of cost loads'_Simon thought as he inspected the plate. No one noticed how out of character he was ...other than Mal who was staring at him from across the table. Mal couldn't sleep last night after Simon accidentally revealed that he loved him. It explain damn near everything, the avoiding him, taking the bullet for him. Simon had fell hard for Mal and he'd only just noticed. Does it have to take a near death for him to notice something important? Apparently so.

Simon excused himself from the table having eaten hardly anything which began to stir confusion around the table. A few minutes after Simon left Mal also excused himself leaving the already confused table even more puzzled and followed the young doctor. He found him in the infirmary, yet again, head hung over Rivers' notes with the smell of sick slightly hovering in the air. Simon looked physically exhausted; Mal knew that Simon did not sleep last night as he had hung around near his room wanting to talk to him about what he overheard. His eyes looked lifeless and pale, his skin was a shade of grey and Mal knew the wound was hurting him.  
"Hey Doc, whattya up to?" Mal greeted with concern dominant in his tone.  
"Captain...are you stalking me?" Simon asked with a yawn, not taking his eyes off of his work once. Mal laughed and took a seat on the infirmary table (bed) behind Simon and watched him.  
"Simon" Mal said firmly wanting the doctor to look at him.  
"Yes, Captain?" He replied still not turning around.  
"Simon, look at me" Mal pleaded as he knelt next to Simon's chair so he was nearer his level. Confused Simon looked at the Captain.  
"Talk to me. What is wrong? Is it because you like me?" He questioned awkwardly .Shock was evident on Simon's face and then it turned to anger. The doctor stood up quickly his wheeled chair rolling away as he did so.  
"There is nothing wrong with me and I do. Not. Like. You!" His lip twitched as he near enough snapped at the Captain, he then retreated to his room. Mal sat on the cold floor for awhile trying to diverse a plan to get Simon to his normal happier self.

River had spoke to him a lot clearer than usual after dinner. 'Don't let him slip away, some things you can never get back' at first Mal had no idea what she was on about as he is just that slow but it did click in the end and he knew what he had to do. It was nearly the same time as last night when Mal found Simon wandering the halls of Serenity. He gently cornered him and instructed him of things that Simon could not be bothered to listen to. The next thing Simon did he would later regret as that was his character. Simon leans forward and closes the gap between him and his Captain shutting the Captain up. The kiss is chaste and simple to begin with but it filled a hole in Simon. It was wrong and stupid, he knew that, but he had wanted it for so long that he just couldn't stop so he deepened the kiss. And then Simon for some stupid reason that Mal isn't really listening to, is letting go and stepping back – breathing heavy, flushed hot – and his words are spilling over each other like his brain is trying to get somewhere and catching "I'm sorry – I just –that's the last time that'll happen-"

"Yeah," Mal agrees distractedly, hands already reaching forwards of their own accord to skim over Simon's sides, grip him tightly by the hipbones and pull him back in. "Never again-"

Simon's breath sticks in his throat as Mal drags him back until they're pressed together, one solid line, and kisses him hard. He clings to Simon's hips like a lifeline, feeling his pulse flutter under his skin. They pull away again and Mal rests his forehead against the Doctors. Simon couldn't think ,he had dreamed fantasised of this moment many times and it had happened. And Mal had kissed him back.  
"Simon" Mal announced making Simon stare at him with dilated eyes. "Do you love me? Is that why you took the bullet?" Simon nodded.  
" I couldn't dare lose you , I've loved you a long time,  
And I found that one day, you catch yourself wishing the person you loved had never existed, so you'd be spared your pain . However I would never want you to disappear so in the spur of the moment I thought that I should." Simon spurted out the confession not looking his crush in his eyes. Mal was amazed that Simon felt this way, that he would even consider killing himself for him. Anger sparked in Mal and it caused him to do something he regretted. The sharp pain in Simon's cheek made tears flow out of his eyes. Hurt was illuminated in his blue eyes. He scowled at the man who he loved above him before he shoved him out of the way with all his might. Mal collapsed onto the floor limbs in a huddle as the Doctor ran down the corridor to his room with tears escaping like a dam down his now bruising face. The metal's clanging rang through the Captains ears as the mistake he made burrowed in his heart.

Murmurs floated around the kitchen table at breakfast time. Simon sat shoulders slumped trying to hide his bruised face and puffy red eyes. The young doctor cried himself to sleep last night as his dream and nightmare both came true within five minutes of each other. Yet he made a deal with himself that he was going to get over the Captain who had strung him on and then punched him nearly dislocating his jaw (not an overreaction). Jayne was sat on the counter munching on bread sniggering to himself at the bruise on Simon's face.  
"Doc you seem to be in the wars" Jayne grinned at the Doctors discomfort. Simon snarled at him before carrying on eating his food.  
"Simon what happened to your face?" Kaylee squeaked in distress as Mal walked into the room. Inara and Book were entertaining River whilst Zoe and Wash were being 'lovey dovey'. Mal face scrunched as he saw how badly he turn the side of Simon's face purple. The Doctor stood up as soon as Mal entered the room. As he left he answered the question.  
"I hit it when I fell in the shower last night" Simon choked as he headed to the dock. They had landed early this morning and Simon planned to utilize this. He was determined to get away from Mal. He'd only felt this way once before and that was when his father abandoned him until he 'wasn't' gay.

No one had seen Simon since he left after he had finished his scarce breakfast and it had been over five hours since then people where beginning to worry. They searched the whole ship and he was nowhere to be found so they suspected he was outside around the town. They did, however, not suspect to find him within the nightlife...in a somewhat 'flamboyant', to say the least, bar. Jayne and Mal stood at the entrance mouths open in shock at the scenes playing out in front of them. The bar was full of dark pink and red with some blues and purples. The only reason they came in here was that Kaylee was distracted by what one of the guys who walk in here was wearing and followed them in here wishing to find out what it was made of. 'Damn Kaylee' Mal thought as she was star stuck at the place she was in, it was like the ball all over again.  
"I think we should, uh, leave" Jayne spluttered nearly running at the exit, just about dragging River with him who was trying to point something out to him.  
"Simon!" River bellowed, throwing her arms in the air waving. Over by the bar was the Doctor they were looking for with an older man who had very short brunette hair and was quite muscular. His huge hand was framing Simons pale face caressing where Mal had punched him. It felt like Simon was stood in front of Mal slowly tearing out his still beating heart and squishing it, letting the blood splutter over his pale hand and smiling sinisterly.  
"I deserve it" Mal mumbled. Jayne stared at the man beside him with his usual confused face. When Simon noticed his younger sister waving at him he shrunk into himself before turning bright red. Mal noticed he whispered something into the man's ear as he got up. The smile he pulled afterwards suggested something of R rated content. River jumped into her brothers arms as he walked over to them a look on his face that said that he was embarrassed and disgraced with himself.  
"We lost you." River giggled.  
"Always knew you weren't right... I just thought you felt too much for your sister" Jayne taunted before he left and headed back to another bar.  
"Simon should you be out, at a bar, when you were recently shot?" Zoe pondered as she clung to her husband who was getting many stares from other men in the bar.  
"I'm not drinking but um... thank you for your concern" Simon reassured as the man he was with came over and wrapped an arm around his waist. Mal's discontent with this was visible as he watched the arms every move with a scowl.  
"So you coming back with us?" Wash asked as his eyes wandered around the setting curious of how the 'other' life lives. Simon shook his head.  
"I'm...ur..Otherwise occupied." Simon announced still looking at his feet.  
"Well we leave after dawn so don't be late" Wash mentioned loudly before he left with Zoe at his side and Kaylee and River in tow behind. Inara stood by Mal waiting for him. Mal could tell Simon was not comfortable at all with the man beside him touching him and it frustrated him to his core. He gripped Simon's wrist and dragged him out of the club. Inara was shocked at his actions and had to convince the other man to not punch the Captain. Simon felt his back hit the brick wall of the building with a hard thump. A small crack of bones was also heard but ignored. Mal's lips claimed Simon's in front of all the crew to see. Many gasps filled the air. Mal bit Simon's bottom lip before he was pushed away, eyes filled with lust.  
"Explain to me, Captain, how you can kiss me, punch me then kiss me again?" Simon snapped some spit flying out as he did so. If Mal turned around he would see many shocked faces at the thing Simon just revealed and the fact that their Captain had just kissed the young doctor. Mal stood there silently before he avoided the question.  
"And what are you doing here, Doc? Respectable people don't come here" Mal grunted in reply, not noticing how he offended Inara.  
"Maybe I'm not respectable! Maybe..." The Doctor choked a lump forming in his throat. The crew knew they shouldn't be watching something that is a private matter but it was hard to pry their eyes away, like the rest of the crowd.  
"Doc, I didn't punch you because you kissed me ...I hit you because I was stupid and angry that you ever felt the need to kill yourself for me." Mal whispered into Simon's ear with a firm gripped on his muscled shoulder. "Why'd you come here?"  
"You can close your eyes to things you don't want to see but you can't close your heart to things you don't want to feel" He admitted as he began to walk back to the ship by himself. Mal walked with Inara, trying to explain things to her whilst the others walked in front.

Simon lay on his soft bed hands covering his eyes making the room completely dark, he hadn't spoke to any one since he got back and didn't plan on it. Yet some persistent human being kept knocking and knocking and knocking. With a huff Simon invited the person in not bothering to move.  
Mal clambered into the room quietly standing above Simon who was still lay on his bed.  
"You're so persistent" Simon moaned sounding exhausted before Mal climbed on to the bed and leant in to kiss Simon. Mal's hand explored under Simon's silk shirt caressing his soft pure skin, his well toned stomach before he squeezed his hard pink left nipple causing Simon to gasp loudly which echoed slightly off the metal walls. Mal climbed on top of the smaller man straddling his predominate hips and discarded both of their shirts, Simon's was a lot harder to get off then Mal's. He then began to grind into as their tongues danced the battle of dominance.  
"Why-were you-there?" He asked between sloppy kisses. Simon stopped kissing him and began to suck on his soft ear lobe. Mal ground into the man below him harder causing the Doctor to bite down on his lobe which erupted a loud yelp that transitioned into a moan when Simon's hand rubbed the growing bulge in his beige cargo pants. Mal gripped Simon's butt hard enough to bruise it. Simon wrapped his legs around Mal's waist as Mal attacked his unmarked pale neck, his teeth biting down so hard he broke the skin. The younger man cried out in both pain and ecstasy.  
"I love you" Mal gasped as he caressed the skin he mark when he had punched the young doctor before placing chaste kisses onto it. Simon was panting underneath the muscular man as this was the furthest he had ever been; his face was red with embarrassment and arousal.  
"I went there to engage in coitus for the ...um...first time" Simon murmured into the crook of Mal's neck. His eyes scanned the perfect body below him that looked like a God, he was not too muscular but not too thin, he was just too perfect. A question ran around in his head 'Why does a Doctor have muscles this good? What does he need them for?' But he would not ask that right now as all he cared about was proving how much he loved this man.  
"Coitus?" Mal laughed as he collapsed onto the younger man. "Well I'm glad I stopped you, your mine now forever, Mr Simon Tam" Mal smiled before he placed a simple devoted kiss on to Simon's sweaty forehead.

**Please rate and review. I hope you enjoyed it.  
"You can close your eyes to things you don't want to see but you can't close your heart to things you don't want to feel" Quote courtesy of Johnny Depp.  
The amount of times whilst writing this I went to write the characters actor or actresses name was brutally annoying. So maybe Simon being a virgin is a bit out of its way or not I don't know I just do not see where he would have had the time, even if he would be like 26. Also there is not a sex scene as much as I wanted to write one, I couldn't make myself so maybe I should change the rating it just didn't seem to fit. Yet as I said at the beginning if you liked this and enough people ask I shall do a sequel and it will be an M rated one. **

**Stranger x**


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